93 - Quote/Unquote...

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. - Huxtable Pippey

The hardest shot is the chip at 90 yards from the green where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounces back into a sandtrap, hits a stone, bounces onto the green, and then rolls into the cup. That shot is so difficult; I have only made it once. - Zeppo Marx

The most exquisitely satisfying act in the world of golf is that of throwing a club. The full backswing, the delayed wrist action, the flowing follow-through, followed by that unique whirring sound, reminiscent only of a passing flock of starlings, are without parallel in sport. - Henry Longhurst

One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and a cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic. - Lee Trevino

Like all Saturday foursomes it is in difficulties. One of the patients is zigzagging about the fairway like a liner pursued by submarines. - P. G. Wodehouse

The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it. - Jackie Burke

My golf game's gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake. - Ben Crenshaw

Few pleasures on earth match the feeling that comes from making a loud bodily-function noise just as a guy is about to putt. - Dave Barry

I'd rather watch a cabbage grow, than a man worrying his guts over a two-foot putt. - Michael Parkinson

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin