I'm interested in the modern, not the Ancient. There's nothing wrong with the St Andrews course that 100 bulldozers couldn't put right. The Old Course needs a dry clean and a press. - Ed Furgol
If I had my way the social status of professional golfers would be one notch below that of Nazi war criminals. - Andy Lyons, Melody Maker
Soccer is a simple-minded game for simple people; golf is merely an expensive way of leaving home. - Michael Parkinson
A golf player is someone who can drive 70 miles an hour in heavy traffic with perfect ease; but blows up on a two-foot putt if somebody coughs. - Anon
St Andrews 13th (Hole o' Cross Coming Home) - It's a great golf hole. It gives you a million options, not one of them worth a damn. - Tom Kite
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. - Michael Green
Gimme: an agreement between two losers who can't putt. - Jim Bishop
I'm having putting troubles. It's not the putter, it's the puttee. - Frank Beard
When a golfer these days misses a 40-foot putt, he grimaces and agonises like a cowboy struck in the heart by an Indian arrow. - Ben Hogan
St Andrews 17th (The Road Hole) - The reason the Road Hole is the greatest par four in the world is because it's a par five. - Ben Crenshaw
Saturday 17 July 2010
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