164 - Quote/Unquote...

(Offering playing advice) Lay off for three weeks, and then quit for good. - Sam Snead

This is the 12th, the green is like a plateau with the top shaved off. - Renton Laidlaw

Gerald Ford - the most dangerous driver since Ben-Hur - has made golf a contact sport. There are 42 golf courses in the Palm Springs area and nobody knows which one Gerald Ford is playing until after he has teed off. It's not hard to find Gerald Ford on a golf course - just follow the wounded. - Bob Hope

Bob Hope says I have made golf a combat and contact sport. But I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald Ford

(After missing a very long putt) I was on the dance floor, but I couldn't hear the band. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. - Henry Beard

(On designing golf courses) Every hole should be a difficult par and a comfortable bogey. - Robert T. Jones

Pebble Beach is so exclusive even the Samaritans have an unlisted number. - Peter Dobereiner

When I tee the ball where I can see it, I can't hit it. And when I put it where I can hit it, I can't see it. - Jackie Gleason

A golf course manager is the keeper of lawn order. - Erica H. Stux