Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd-pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility. - Bob Hope
When John Daly hits an iron he takes a cubic yard of Kent as well. His divots go further than my drives. - David Feherty
A triple bogey is three strokes more than par, four strokes more than par is a quadruple bogey, five more than par is a quintuple, six is a sextuple, seven is a throwuple, eight is a blowuple, and nine is a ohshutuple. - Henry Beard
Golf and masturbation have at least one thing in common. Both are a lot more satisfying to do than they are to watch. - Anon
The only thing gonna stick around that hole (14th at Pebble Beach) is a dart! Yesterday I was on in three, off in four. They oughta put one of them miniature windmills on this thing and charge 50 cents to play it. - Lee Trevino
Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. - P. G. Wodehouse
Trousers are now allowed to be worn by ladies on the course. But they must be removed before entering the clubhouse. - Sign at an Irish golf club
(After hitting two balls into the water) By God, I've got a good mind to jump in and make it four. - Simon Hobday
Hit the ball hard and straight and not too often. - Anon
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods
Friday 23 July 2010
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