32 - Simply The Best...Practice Ever!

After the debacle at Bootle the other day I was desperate to work on my driving. I have gone from useless to ok to useless again in the space of three weeks. I’m up and down more often than a French grooms arse on his wedding night. I decided it was vital that I knuckle down and get to grips with my driver as it is starting to seriously mess with my head.

I sent a text to Alan and Lucky to see if either of them were up for a sneaky hour at Aintree. Both said they were well up for it. It was on like Donkey Kong!

When I got there I was greeted by Lucky and his lad Liam (complete with bandaged up hand after an altercation with a fence). No sign of Alan but we were able to find three bays together for when he arrived. To be honest, we could have had about ten in a row as there was no golf tournament recently and it was raining meaning that all the beuts would rather stay at home playing Tiger Woods than annoying the life out of me at the range.

I limbered up with a few whacks with ‘Arthur’. I was thinking about my swing after my ‘mare at Bootle and realised that when I’m using my irons I sort of bend my right wrist as the club moves back from the ball and then it straightens up as I connect with the ball. This works pretty well although I’m not sure if it is what a golf pro would recommend. Anyway, I can hit the ball pretty straight and pretty far using this method which is what I want to do with my driver.

Encouragingly the ball flew high, straight and handsome using this ‘wrist break’ action. The good thing about it was that it was effortless too. It was at this point that Alan turned up and saw me giving it the beans with ‘Arthur’. He simply said “That is spot on; I don’t know what your problem is.” I had to explain that I had changed my swing again for the 55,000th time and we both agreed that this version was working ok!

After that we had what can only be described as the best session at the driving range in my entire 6 weeks of being a golfist. Drives were straight and, 9 times out of 10, long, ‘Fivey’ was working a dream and ‘Niney’ was on form too. Liam said something telling as me and Lucky were practicing. He turned to Lucky and simply said “God, you have got loads better since last time”. Sometimes you don’t realise you are getting better as you only notice your fuck ups; Liam’s words touched me deeply (in a non-Michael Jackson kinda way you understand)!!!

With the warm up out of the way it was on to the soon to be Trade Marked Blue & Yellow Basket Challenge! For the first time ever there were rules to the game which are as follows; each player has 12 balls, the person in the bay closest to the left-hand fence goes first with the next closest second etc, the game ends when someone bingos the basket or when the balls are all gone, if 12 balls go we then try again with 13 with the same rules, when the second set of balls are gone the game is over and we move on the other basket. Got all that?

We started with Big Yeller about 100-odd yards away and instantly I could see this was going to be a tight game. Lucky, usually pish with his irons, was showering the basket with delicious shot after delicious shot whilst Alan was being Alan and getting close with virtually every shot. I was using ‘Fivey’ with a three quarter swing and, if I’m being honest, was getting closer than my two competitors. In fact I thought I got it in twice with the ball missing by literally inches.

Needless to say, despite all the good shots we didn’t manage one perfect one to find a winner on the night. As I am the current holder of the Yellow Basket Challenge Trophy I retained the cup like they do in the Ryder Cup an’ that.

We then moved on to the Blue Basket Challenge. While trying to hit Big Yeller, Lucky managed to get the ball into Little Bluey twice (I like the nicknames for the baskets, they are staying). I told him he would get an honorary mention but he wasn’t winning the game! While limbering up for the game, Alan did a Sally Gunnell trick shot where the ball trickled across the floor before colliding with another and leaping into the basket like a salmon into a keep net. Tremendous stuff.

On only the second attempt I captured the Blue Basket Challenge Trophy too! Little chip right into the centre of the basket and the Trophy was coming home with me – it is good to be the King! On a serious note it shows that I’m getting better with my irons, a point I noticed when on Bootle a few days ago with Lucky. Now if I just had a basket to aim at with my driver I would be on the PGA Tour this time next year!

With the competitive games out of the way we started on the other yellow basket on the other side of the range. This was a fair bit away but we had a go anyway and I’m pleased to say that we all went close. When it comes to iron shots me and Lucky have come on leaps and bounds...I just hope we can transfer this onto the course.

As I mentioned earlier, it was the best session we have had at the driving range and I didn’t want to leave to be honest. Me and Lucky both commented on the fact that we could prolly hit another 100 balls without trying but Alan said we should leave it or we’ll end up burnt out. Thing is, I can’t wait to return, where is my phone…I’ve got to send out some texts!