37 - A Brand New Challenge But The Same Result...

Another night like the opening of a horror film, another trip to the range. Fighting my way through the howling wind and driving rain I was relieved to see Richie’s bright red passion wagon in the car park and impressed to see Paul (not Lucky, the other Paul) had made the long journey from Formby for 100 balls of practice. I swear it only rains that way when we decide to visit the driving range.

I started, as usual, with a salvo from ‘Arthur’ who was in the type of form that can only be described as average. Plenty of sloppy shots about 150/200 yards with no discernable direction despite my effort. Actually, that is a little harsh. The shots were going in a vague arc about as wide as an Aldi car park in a small Scottish town.

With the warm up out the way me, Richie and Paul got on to the serious business of the Blue & Yellow Basket Challenges! With the new rules in place the game was very much on. Big Yeller was first to be bombarded…briefly. I was just starting to get my range when Richie aced the target. Game over. Bastard. Not to worry, I’d make up for it with a considered attack on Little Bluey.

Erm, not a chance. Before I could say “Paul has chipped the fucker in”, Paul had chipped the fucker in. This was getting seriously irritating now. Looking back it was a bit of a wake up call to be honest and showed that however far I had come in the last seven weeks I was still, at best, shit. Granted, both Richie and Paul have been playing for years but there was no disguising the fact that I was miles behind them.

Right, time to even things up a little, time for a brand new game, a game that requires less skill and more luck. Ladies and Gentlemen I give you ‘The Smack the Big Number 4 Sign Challenge!’ The rules are simple; take it in turn to hit the big, yellow number 4 sign about 75 yards away. Erm, that’s it. What makes this challenge different though is that the sign is on a post so to hit it takes a lot of skill or some blind luck.

To cut a short story, erm, short, Richie hit the fucking thing three times in about 10 minutes without any effort. Grrr… That was it, I gave up. I went back to bandy drives with ‘Arthur’ knowing that my best wasn’t even close to being good enough. Strangely, despite my shitness, I still had a good time so it wasn’t a complete loss. I badly need to practice though.