08 - Nickname...

I was dropping the kids off at the pool the other day (figuratively speaking) and got to thinking about nicknames. Every great player deserves one, some average players have been given one and I want to be the first shit player to have one.

Ernie Els is ‘The Big Easy’ because he is tall and has a smooth swing, Sergio Garcia is ‘Il Nino’ (The Kid) because he is erm, 28 and Phil Mickelson is FIGJAM (Fuck I'm Good, Just Ask Me) because he is a big headed cunt. Even Eldrick Woods goes by the name ‘Tiger’ but that is because Eldrick is a twat of a name.

I was trying to come up with something catchy, appropriate and most importantly, cool. After literally seconds of thought I came up with ‘The Cack in Black’. The first part of the nickname is obvious, the second because I realised the other day that all my golf gear is black.

So there you have it, I’m one step closer to making a living out of golf, as I now have a nickname. I’ll have to get it printed on golf balls, embroided on caps and splashed up the side of my bag. Live the dream...