14 - The Curse of Lucky (Part 2)...

After the washout that was my second trip to the golf course we decided to go to the driving range so it wasn’t a complete loss. Me and Lucky got there at about 5 and started playing. A few minutes after hitting our first balls the rain stopped and the sun come blazing from behind the clouds. “Fucking typical” was Lucky’s assessment of the change in weather.

To cheer him up I told him I would teach him how to chip. This news was received with all the enthusiasm of a man being told that he had a boil on his arse that needed lancing with a rusty spoon. Ten minutes later and Lucky was all smiles again. The chipping witchcraft had worked on another new golfist!

After showing him the freaky quarter swing chip there was no stopping him. Once again the inevitable challenge raised its ugly head as hacker took on hacker to see who could be first to be crowned ‘The Least Shit Shit Player’. Once again I fucking lost. What’s more I started practicing with my 5 iron later on trying to hit a yellow basket thing about 150 yards away and Alan got it in there before me too. I’m piss poor…no seriously.

As you can guess from the last sentence, Alan joined us a little later and was his usual helpful self, giving me and Lucky tips and generally geeing us up when our heads dropped. He also had a quick go of the ‘Lucky 13’ but had to give it back to Paul as he couldn’t get used to it – his drives were going long but in no discernable direction. Once back to his own driver he was spanking the range balls annoyingly far and straight.

We finished and went into the bar for a sly pint and a bit of a natter. It was the first time he had met Lucky and was intrigued to find out how he got his nickname. Paul regaled him with tales of broken fingers, dislocated shoulders, stab wounds and cycling accidents. Lucky is a funny guy anyway but some of the things he has gone through just have me in stitches.

Before we all went our separate ways we planned to play the following week. With Lucky coming I’m expecting unseasonable snow flurries or for it to start raining frogs or summat. I’ll put money on it that it gets cancelled. Watch this space.