05 - Lingo...

I was speaking to my mate Paul in work – not Lucky Paul, another Paul – and he started telling me about ye olde golf terms. Apparently each club had a different name, not just a number which intrigued me so I did a bit of digging in the internet. I couldn’t find much on the club names but I did find the following funny golf terms:

From the tee:
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs
A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner
A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
A circus tent - a BIG top
A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

Around the green:
An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker
A Saddam Hussain - go from bunker to bunker
A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand
A Chuck Berry - (in the trees) - no particular place to go

On the green:
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A gynaecologist's assistant - just shaves the hole
A twelve-pinter - stroke after stroke and you're still not ready to put it in the hole.

After sinking the ball:
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A ladyboy - looked like an easy hole but all was not what it seems