Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. - Huxtable Pippey
The hardest shot is the chip at 90 yards from the green where the ball has to be played against an oak tree, bounces back into a sandtrap, hits a stone, bounces onto the green, and then rolls into the cup. That shot is so difficult; I have only made it once. - Zeppo Marx
The most exquisitely satisfying act in the world of golf is that of throwing a club. The full backswing, the delayed wrist action, the flowing follow-through, followed by that unique whirring sound, reminiscent only of a passing flock of starlings, are without parallel in sport. - Henry Longhurst
One of the nice things about the Senior Tour is that we can take a cart and a cooler. If your game is not going well, you can always have a picnic. - Lee Trevino
Like all Saturday foursomes it is in difficulties. One of the patients is zigzagging about the fairway like a liner pursued by submarines. - P. G. Wodehouse
The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it. - Jackie Burke
My golf game's gone off so much that when I went fishing a couple of weeks ago my first cast missed the lake. - Ben Crenshaw
Few pleasures on earth match the feeling that comes from making a loud bodily-function noise just as a guy is about to putt. - Dave Barry
I'd rather watch a cabbage grow, than a man worrying his guts over a two-foot putt. - Michael Parkinson
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin
Showing posts with label Dave Barry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dave Barry. Show all posts
Saturday, 15 August 2009
Saturday, 25 July 2009
76 - Quote/Unquote...
The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it - Bob Allen
"I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced." - Lee Trevino
"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." - Jimmy Demaret
"Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour." - Unknown
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs. - Henny Youngman
Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much. - Buddy Hackett
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. - Dave Barry
John Daly's driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays. - Ian Baker-Finch
"I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced." - Lee Trevino
"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." - Jimmy Demaret
"Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour." - Unknown
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. - Phyllis Diller
Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. - Jack Benny
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs. - Henny Youngman
Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much. - Buddy Hackett
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. - Dave Barry
John Daly's driving is unbelievable. I don't go that far on my holidays. - Ian Baker-Finch
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