(Offering playing advice) Lay off for three weeks, and then quit for good. - Sam Snead
This is the 12th, the green is like a plateau with the top shaved off. - Renton Laidlaw
Gerald Ford - the most dangerous driver since Ben-Hur - has made golf a contact sport. There are 42 golf courses in the Palm Springs area and nobody knows which one Gerald Ford is playing until after he has teed off. It's not hard to find Gerald Ford on a golf course - just follow the wounded. - Bob Hope
Bob Hope says I have made golf a combat and contact sport. But I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators. - Gerald Ford
(After missing a very long putt) I was on the dance floor, but I couldn't hear the band. - Chi Chi Rodriguez
Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. - Henry Beard
(On designing golf courses) Every hole should be a difficult par and a comfortable bogey. - Robert T. Jones
Pebble Beach is so exclusive even the Samaritans have an unlisted number. - Peter Dobereiner
When I tee the ball where I can see it, I can't hit it. And when I put it where I can hit it, I can't see it. - Jackie Gleason
A golf course manager is the keeper of lawn order. - Erica H. Stux
Showing posts with label Sam Snead. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sam Snead. Show all posts
Saturday, 31 July 2010
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
149 - Spores Not Scores...
There is a lot to like about this time of year; beautiful weather, immaculate courses, yet I’m not playing – hay fever is a cruddy little condition to have. While everyone else is out there whacking TaylorMade Penta’s up and down the fairway I’m stuck indoors with a nose that drips like a leaky tap.
I’m aching to get out there and play, I’m desperate to practice, and I can’t wait to put the things I learned from Terry a few weeks ago into practice but at the moment I’m a slave to pollen. I’ve got eyes like Marty Feldman, a nose like Rudolf the Reindeer and lungs full of spores.
It feels like I haven’t picked up a club for months (even though it is more like a few weeks) and I’m definitely starting to miss it. I’ve cut down on obsessing over equipment and clothing to help stop the cravings but every now and then I find myself thinking about lugging my bats around a field.
The only positive thing from being trapped in the house is that the British Open starts soon meaning I can spend four days watching the best players in the world pounding around the home of golf in glorious high definition.
Oh yes, St. Andrews looking as good as it gets, waiting to crush dreams.
St Andrews is the world’s oldest golf course; they have been playing there for over 600 years. It isn’t the prettiest course on the planet but there is a real pull to the strip of links on the east coast of Scotland. Sam Snead once said: “Until you play it, St. Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away”.
Golf Whine Monthly ran a feature recently where normal players got a chance to play the course ahead of the Open to show just how testing it is. The players were lucky as the weather was good and they still posted rubbish scores, coming away from the course battered into submission.
It is one of my ambitions to play St Andrews but not while I have got jelly eyes and a nose full of snot. I’m more than happy to watch Tiger Woods et all show me how it is done from the safety of my couch.
I’m aching to get out there and play, I’m desperate to practice, and I can’t wait to put the things I learned from Terry a few weeks ago into practice but at the moment I’m a slave to pollen. I’ve got eyes like Marty Feldman, a nose like Rudolf the Reindeer and lungs full of spores.
It feels like I haven’t picked up a club for months (even though it is more like a few weeks) and I’m definitely starting to miss it. I’ve cut down on obsessing over equipment and clothing to help stop the cravings but every now and then I find myself thinking about lugging my bats around a field.
The only positive thing from being trapped in the house is that the British Open starts soon meaning I can spend four days watching the best players in the world pounding around the home of golf in glorious high definition. Oh yes, St. Andrews looking as good as it gets, waiting to crush dreams.
St Andrews is the world’s oldest golf course; they have been playing there for over 600 years. It isn’t the prettiest course on the planet but there is a real pull to the strip of links on the east coast of Scotland. Sam Snead once said: “Until you play it, St. Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away”.
Golf Whine Monthly ran a feature recently where normal players got a chance to play the course ahead of the Open to show just how testing it is. The players were lucky as the weather was good and they still posted rubbish scores, coming away from the course battered into submission.
It is one of my ambitions to play St Andrews but not while I have got jelly eyes and a nose full of snot. I’m more than happy to watch Tiger Woods et all show me how it is done from the safety of my couch.
Saturday, 12 June 2010
145 - Quote/Unquote...
If there's a faster way to turn a Jekyll into a Hyde than by handing a man the driver, we don't know of it. - Lew Rushman
Water creates a neurosis in golfers. The very thought of this harmless fluid robs them of their normal powers of rational thought, turns their legs to jelly, and produces a palsy of the upper limbs. - Peter Dobereiner
Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet. - Tommy Bolt
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
A Lorena Bobbitt: a nasty slice. - Gary McCord
Lee Trevino is the only man I know who talks on his backswing. - Charley McClendon
The Coarse Golfer is one who shouts 'Fore!' when he putts. - Michael Green
Until you play it, St Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away. - Sam Snead
The only time I talk on a golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club. - Seve Ballesteros
(After her tee shot bounced off a tree and nestled in her bra) I'll take a two-shot penalty, but I'll be damned if I'm going to play the ball where it lies. - Elaine Johnson
Water creates a neurosis in golfers. The very thought of this harmless fluid robs them of their normal powers of rational thought, turns their legs to jelly, and produces a palsy of the upper limbs. - Peter Dobereiner
Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet. - Tommy Bolt
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. - Bob Hope
A Lorena Bobbitt: a nasty slice. - Gary McCord
Lee Trevino is the only man I know who talks on his backswing. - Charley McClendon
The Coarse Golfer is one who shouts 'Fore!' when he putts. - Michael Green
Until you play it, St Andrews looks like the sort of real estate you couldn't give away. - Sam Snead
The only time I talk on a golf course is to my caddie. And then only to complain when he gives me the wrong club. - Seve Ballesteros
(After her tee shot bounced off a tree and nestled in her bra) I'll take a two-shot penalty, but I'll be damned if I'm going to play the ball where it lies. - Elaine Johnson
Monday, 24 August 2009
99 - Quote/Unquote...
In 1981, Tom Sieckmann won the Philippine Open, the Thailand Open and the Singapore Open, leaving him second only to the US Marines for victories in the Pacific. - Gary Nuhm
I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me. - Seve Ballesteros
The greens (at Winged Foot Golf Club, New York) are harder than a whore's heart. - Sam Snead
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. - Jack Nicklaus
Golf. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks. - Anonymous
Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well. - Craig Stadler
They say I'm famous for my chip shots. Sure, when I hit 'em right, they land just so, like a butterfly with sore feet. - Lee Trevino
I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler. - David Feherty
By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport. - Julian Boros
I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me. - Seve Ballesteros
The greens (at Winged Foot Golf Club, New York) are harder than a whore's heart. - Sam Snead
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian
Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. - Jack Nicklaus
Golf. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks. - Anonymous
Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well. - Craig Stadler
They say I'm famous for my chip shots. Sure, when I hit 'em right, they land just so, like a butterfly with sore feet. - Lee Trevino
I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler. - David Feherty
By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport. - Julian Boros
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