90 - Everything Starts With A Three...

As mentioned in an earlier post I decided to buy a 3 wood after taking Richie’s advice. My first shot can be wild if I use my MX-560 driver which means I tend to use a hybrid off the tee. The hybrid gives me more control but I lose a fair bit of distance and Richie suggested that a 3 wood could be the answer providing more accuracy aligned with respectable length off the tee with the added bonus of being useful off the fairway.

I scanned the online retailers and eBay and eventually bought a second hand Mizuno F-60 for less than £40. The pictures of the club reassured me as it looked pretty much spotless save for a few tiny marks on the face but until it is in your hands you don’t really know what you are getting from eBay, do you? Well it arrived yesterday and I’m very pleased. Exactly as described, less than half price.

I was concerned that it came with a stiff graphite shaft as I’ve never used one before but a few practice swings helped allay some of these worries. The club feels somewhere between the stiffness of the steel shaft on my old John Daley driver and the flexible graphite on the MX-560.

It is a difficult feel to describe, sort of stiff and floppy at the same time (I realise we are getting dangerously close to ‘Carry On up the Fairway again so I’ll leave it there).

Compared to my driver the head on the F-60 looks tiny in fact it doesn’t look too much bigger than my Howson hybrid which came as a real surprise. Although not exactly the same it is obvious that the F-60 is the MX-560’s little brother, there are a lot of aesthetic touches which are quite similar like the polished sole, the colour scheme and head cover which is almost identical.

I’m looking forward to pinging a few balls up the range with the F-60 to see what it can do. Reviews have been quite favourable although the next generation of Mizuno woods have the edge on the clubs I have now. Hopefully I can find 200+ yards down the centre of the fairway from now on and then work towards my PGA Tour card!

89 - Long And Straight...

After my disappointing return to the driving range last week I was eager to get back and get practicing. I convinced Lucky to come with me (despite his initial reluctance) and we set about learning how to swing the wrenches again after almost six months away from the game. I had forgotten how difficult golf could be, especially when you are absolutely rubbish at it like me.

The last time I tried to use my MX-560 driver I consistently sliced the ball although by the end of my session the mishit had come in a fair bit but was still irritatingly to the right. My hybrid was, as usual, straight, long and low off the tee – perfect for windy conditions. I mentioned in another post that Richie’s advice was to focus on using the consistent hybrid until I could tame the big driver.

A few shots with the hybrid had me concerned; the straightness and consistency seemed to have evaporated being replaced with hooks, slices and the odd shank. It took half a dozen shots before I got back into the groove and started making clean strikes again. Just for a break I turned to the driver to let Lucky hear the loud noise it created when it is caught just right. I was stunned by the shots that resulted.

I hit six balls (they are always in batches of six – don’t know why but they have to be hit this way!) with the driver, each went straight and soared high and long down the range. It was a complete change from the last time I had been at the range and Lucky was impressed both with the noise from the driver and the shots it produced. I assumed it was a fluke so tried another six balls and hit another six good drives which brought a Cheshire Cat-like grin to my face.

My drives were going so far, so high and so straight that they started attracting the attention of other people at the range, particularly a guy in the bay next to us who was fizzing some decent shots up the field.

After one immense, arrow straight, ridiculously long drive he quipped “Who do you think you are, Tiger Woods?!” If I was Kryten from Red Dwarf I would have gone into ‘Smug Mode’.

I got talking to the guy and he was asking what driver I was using and what handicap I play off. He was amazed by how little the driver cost and the fact I haven’t got a real handicap yet (but I’m pretty confident it would be around the 28 mark). He was very complimentary about my game which made me think that I must have improved in the last year although saying that he only saw me hit a few drives I suppose.

Things were not going so well for Lucky though, he couldn’t hit a cows behind with a banjo! All his drives were slicing a ridiculous amount and his shots were not getting the customary two miles of air under them. He was struggling badly and getting more and more frustrated. I explained to him that I was exactly the same last week but it didn’t seem to make any difference although he did cheer up a bit when he beat me on the chipping challenge.

While at the range I had a bit of an epiphany when I found that I could hit the same shot over and over with my 5 iron. I was messing around trying lazy swings and found I could hit sweet shots consistently by using a three-quarter swing and concentrating on a good follow through. For the first time ever I could predict with a degree of certainty where the ball would land.

By the end of the session I was itching to play again. My driving was 100% better, my hybrid shots eventually returned to their consistent best and my iron shots were a revelation. Lucky was downbeat but I assured him that he would be miles better next time. Roll on the next session.

81 - 3, That's The Magic Number...

The problems I have been having with my driving have had me thinking – a lot. I’ve decided to use my MX-560 driver only on the range until I can wrestle a bit of accuracy out of it and am therefore forced to tee off with my hybrid for now. Not a perfect solution but the best I can come up with…or is it?

As normal when I have a problem in golf I obsess over it and hit the Internet and magazines hard! It seems that the best thing to do when your drives are wild is to simply use a different club. A few sites suggest the new fangled hybrids as they make hitting the ball long and straight a lot easier – something I can vouch for after using my £10 Howson on the driving range for a year.

Other less progressive sites suggest moving down the clubs and claim that a 3 wood will deliver most of the distance of a driver with the advantage of not being as difficult to control. Right, I’ll use my 3 wood from now on then…when it arrives. Oh yeah, I haven’t got one yet but it is on it’s way.

Continuing my obsession with Mizuno, I had a look around to see what was on offer from the Japanese golf wizards and found that they have just released the MX-700 Hot Metal wood. Fantastic reviews, as sexy as Scarlett Johansson (left) but a bit too pricey for me, even on eBay. I needed a quality alternative.

The MX-700 replaces the F-60, which was Mizuno’s darling of the tee/fairway until earlier this year. Logic dictates that, as there is a new, shiny club on the market the price of the old one should drop. Erm, no, it seems that being a decent piece of kit the price of the F-60 has stayed high (in fact it costs the same as the new MX-700 on some websites) so it was still too pricey.

Another dip into he murky world of eBay revealed yet more expensive clubs but also thrown into the mix were some second hand woods of varying quality. I made an offer of £30 for a slightly battered 3 wood that was going for £50 plus delivery. The seller rejected my offer and did me a favour in hindsight as the club looked abused and came without a head cover.

I was about to give up when I spotted a little cracker. A barely used F-60 with a stiff graphite shaft complete with a head cover going for just £35. I was tempted enough to put a maximum bid of £40 in to test the water. It was sufficient to win so I’m now the proud owner of a Mizuno F-60 3 wood.

I’m expecting good things from this club. I’m hoping for the distance of my MX-560 driver and the accuracy of my cheap Howson hybrid but I’ll bet anything that I just end up with another club that infuriates me to the point of expletives. I'll keep you informed.

80 - The Aches And Pains...

I’m writing this immediately after having my first session at the driving range in 6 months. I’m sore. My back is killing me, my calves are killing me, I can’t grip properly, I’m sweating and I’m knackered. Other than that I’m fine, actually I’m not. I’m a little disappointed as the session didn’t go as well as I hoped but on reflection I was probably being over ambitious.

I’ve been studying my books, poring over my game improvement supplements and practicing my grip at my desk ready for my trip to Aintree with Richie and it was mostly in vain. My shots were slicing like they were the first time I visited the range last August; it was like the last 12 months have been a complete waste of time.

Looking back at it though I can see a few positives. Although just about everything I hit with my driver curled majestically towards the right of the range the other clubs faired a bit better. Using my Howson recovery club produced more consistent and accurate results. I was able to drive the ball just as far as I could with my massive Mizuno MX560 driver with the bonus of it flying quite low and relatively straight.

Afterwards Richie asked why I would bother using my driver when I was getting better results with a cheap hybrid. It was a good question but I couldn’t give a good answer. I suppose the main reason is because I’m a vain sod who wants to be able to drive the ball effortlessly off the tee rather than see my Srixon scuttle its way down the fairway after being farted on by a poxy hybrid.

In hindsight I think it would be more beneficial in the long term to get some quick wins so I’m going to continue to hone my shots with the hybrid and try and wrestle some straight drives out of my driver as a secondary exercise.

It is better to be straight than long (no knob gags please, my ego has already taken a bashing tonight)

Another positive was my chipping. I only hit a few shots but it didn’t take me long to start lofting the ball high and straight at the target (which wasn’t the blue basket as they aren’t there anymore – gutted!) I took one of my new wedges and it was a hit with Richie who complimented its weight and feel. He is a lot better than me so it was reassuring to get a good second opinion from someone I trust.

The night ended on a high though with me fizzing a drive about 250 yards straight down the range. On the way down Daniel (Richie’s lad and my favourite vampire/Emo teenager) was telling me about the only time he played golf and how he spent an afternoon trying to recreate the famous Happy Gilmore drive (above) where you take a run at the ball and smash it off the tee. After a few goes I managed it with the last attempt being a bit special.

With my second to last ball I took a run up from another bay and, with a massive amount of luck, connected sweetly. It was easily my best shot with the driver all night, sailing straight and true through the balmy summer air eventually coming to rest a few yards from the back fence. Beautiful. The irony that my best shot came when I was messing about is not lost on me at all. This game is pretty tricky.

52 - A Hundred Isn't THAT Much For Better Quality...

I haven’t been to the driving range as much as I have wanted to over the last couple of weeks due to a combination of the credit crunch and work commitments. What it means is that I’ve been able to drool over golf porn a lot recently, which is both a good and bad thing at the same time.

I’ve decided that I’m getting a set of Mizuno ‘game improvement’ clubs and until very recently I would happily tell you that it is a set of MX-100’s. Thing is, the more I read about the slightly more expensive MX-200’s the more my head is being turned.

What is the difference between the two sets I hear you cry? Well, apart from about £100, the fundamental difference is that the heads on the 100’s are cast and the 200’s are grain flow forged. Yeah, but what difference does that make I hear you sigh? It is all about feel boys and girls.

Casting the heads makes them cheaper to manufacture (meaning the MX-100’s are the entry level bats from Mizuno) but it also makes them have less ‘feel’. You know what it is like when you hit the ball with the heel of the club and you feel that ‘clunk’? That is similar to what it feels like using clubs with cast heads albeit not quite as bad.

Conversely, grain flow forged heads make hitting the ball sweetly feel like hitting the ball sweetly. They are softer and more rewarding when you hit the sweet spot which, seeing as they are still ‘game improvement’ clubs, is bigger than normal thanks to the weird Y-Tune insert built into the head.

Another difference is the size of the heads. Although both look pretty similar the 100’s are slightly bigger than the 200’s and slightly bigger than traditional clubs as far as I can see which is good initially but as I get better they will look like clowns clubs or summat. It is important how they look, just as Lucky who has spent a fortune on Nike clubs because he likes the yellow and black look!

So the 200’s have the same hazard dodging technology built into them, they are manufactured in a better way, they provide more feedback and they look better. The only problem is the price but I can justify buying them if I don’t buy the Mizuno long iron replacement club, the Fli-Hi, straight away and stick with Dougie Howson for a month or two. Sounds like a plan!

40 - Doogie On Form Giving Arthur A Break...

Tonight I went the driving range with Paul (not Lucky) and for the first time in the last couple of months it didn’t piss down with rain. I know, I can’t believe it either! It wasn’t perfect though, it is starting to get too cold to play in a short sleeve top now but you can’t have everything, can you? Stop whining you tart!!!

The last couple of visits haven’t been good for ‘Arthur’. He is going wild again so I have decided to go back to basics and practice with my long irons as I have been using them off the tee recently to give me a second shot from the fairway.

Instead of using my 3 iron I decided to give ‘Doogie’ (the name I’ve given to my Howson Hybrid – Doogie Howser…Doogie Howson, geddit?) a go. Fuck me; I was rustier than Chris Evan’s sack tonight. It took 12 balls before I got to ball above waste height and over 100 yards.

Eventually it came back to me and I remembered why I was so impressed with my £10 club. It only takes a gentle swing to get the ball flying into the night air. Good stuff. For the first time ever though I was hooking the ball! I know it is a crap shot but I was nearly crying at not slicing it any more!

After the warm up (where I managed to nearly snap the pole holding the 100 yard marker sign with a fearsome drive) me and Paul got on to the serious business of the Blue and Yellow Basket Challenge! It has been a while since I found the net in these games but tonight I Sally Gunnelled a cracker to bingo Big Yeller! Kerching! I was back in the game.

On to Little Bluey. Paul had brought his TaylorMade 56* wedge with him and was plopping the ball nicely around the basket, getting closer and closer each time. I was using ‘Niney’ with the quarter swing chip Alan taught me and was all over the place. Then suddenly it clicked and I found my range. A few shots later and I had done the double capturing the Blue Basket Crown to go with the Yellow one I picked up earlier.

I went back to ‘Doogie’ for some more practice and got a good bit of advice from Paul. He explained that addressing the ball a little further back would mean I would be making contact as the club face was moving up which would help lift the ball into the air and eek out a few more yards. Sounded too simple to work but fuck me, it did! I used the last of my balls moving the club back and forwards experimenting. Interesting, I will try this out more next time.

Paul still had a few balls left so I stood in his bay and had a look at his 56* wedge. It was easy to see the difference in quality between his club and my £10 ‘Mack the Knife’ from JJB Sport. After a few chips which almost found the target without much effort I was convinced that better equipment produces better results. I’m more determined than ever to buy a Titleist Vokey now…

30 - Addictive Basket Challenge Too Hard To Resist...

Like the night before the rain was coming down in sheets thick as lead and the wind was howling like erm, a howly thing so an hour at the range was the only logical thing to do. I sent Lucky a sneaky text and he phoned me back to say he was curled up in front of the fire like a cat or something. I mentioned the Yellow and Blue Basket Challenge and he said he would be at the range in 15 minutes!

Again the place was virtually deserted so we took a couple of bays near the end of the range to the right. As we got there I pondered how many balls I was going to slice clean out of the place onto the racecourse. The next Grand National will be a farce with all the horses slipping and sliding on the hundreds of balls littering the grass like a toddler falling on its arse after treading on marbles scattered across a laminate floor…or summat.

We limbered up by smashing balls up the range with our driver. Paul was his consistently long, consistently straight self with his ‘Lucky 13’ working well in the chill night. ‘Arthur’ was playing up. I couldn’t get the ball to go higher than my knee or further than I could spit. So frustrating. The solution was easy and predictable. All I did was keep my head still and the ball flew high, straight and handsome.

Then it was on to the hybrid. As Lucky said when he saw it, you can’t go wrong for a tenner. I tried it off the small tee and, like last week, it flew down the range with a low trajectory making it good for sneaky Sally Gunnell’s down the fairway. Is it supposed to do that? Surely it should fly high to gain more yards? It is more than likely that I’m mishitting it like all my other clubs.

After dicking about with the woods and hybrids it was time for the real reason we were at the range; Yellow and Blue Basket Challenge! First up was the yellow fella about 100 yards away. As I’m the reigning champion I went first and almost bingoed it immediately. Lucky isn’t as confident with his irons so wasn’t expecting much but after a few shots to get his eye in so to speak he was plopping balls around the basket. Game on.

The game went on for about 10 minutes with a lot of near misses until I hit a bit of a shanker that was dead on line but wasn’t going to danger any air traffic passing over. It flew low, bobbled a couple of times and then made it into the basket…I think! I was claiming it though and Lucky was gracious enough to give it to me anyway.

Next was attacking ‘Bluey’. 50 yards, freaky quarter swing with a 9 iron, addictive as fuck. Me and Lucky we launching balls quick and fast and getting much closer than the last challenge which is what you would expect seeing at the basket is within spitting distance. The game ended quickly as we ran out of balls without finding the target despite the squeals and howls from us.

I think I prefer playing when the weather is bad, it makes me feel like I’m suffering for my art or something…plus there is no queue and you can make as much noise as you want as you dick about trying to slice balls over the net at the side of the range. The important thing is that I’m still enjoying it.

29 - Not Quite A Wood, Not Really An Iron...

As it was pissing down with rain last night with the wind was howling like something out of a horror movie it was obvious that my mind would turn to an hour at the driving range. There is nothing better than spanking a yellow range ball out into the night with sheets of rain racing across the field giving you absolutely no control over your shots. That is the best way to practice in my opinion (and I’m drawing upon almost six weeks of experience here boys and girls).

I sent out a text to Alan, Lucky and Richie to see which brave souls would endure personal suffering in the pursuit of excellence. The response wasn’t great to be honest. Lucky was watching his brood and Richie would rather sit on his armchair and watch Liverpool (like the vast majority of their ‘fans’ it seems). Alan simply replied with the word ‘Roger’. He is a man among men if you ask me.

Before meeting Alan I had to pop out and pick up my latest internet purchase; my new £10 Howson Comp Plus Hybrid. First impressions were good. It looked the part (from others have seen) and was suitably shiny. The head was smaller than I was expecting but after thinking about it I came to the conclusion that I didn’t know one end of a hybrid club from another so my expectations were not based on anything so I should just get a grip.

I rocked up late at Aintree and had to wait for a bay. Actually, seeing as the Ryder Cup is now a distant memory to the gobshites who dusted down the clubs the other week for a whack, there was almost horizontal sheet rain sweeping across the range and it was after 8pm I had the choice of any bay I wanted with the exception of three – and one of those was occupied by Alan. Where are all the irritating, chain smoking Spanish bastards now eh? (Click here if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Alan had a look at my new weapon of score distruction and tried it out. He quickly commented that you don’t have to put much effort in to get some decent distance from it. I watched as he sliced shot after shot off towards the right-hand fence knowing that it was simply because he wasn’t used to the club…unfortunately, neither was I. Alan’s slice was a manageable, progressive wander out to the right whereas mine was a full blown 90* turn off the Astroturf. Hmmm, this might not be the bargain I thought.

I started my drills with ‘Arthur’. So often my saviour at Kirkby last week it seemed the magic had gone. I was back to sending the ball all the way out to the right. It would be fair to say that I was rustier than Prince Harry’s bollocks. After a few wasted balls I started to get back into it and finally began hitting it straight and long. Alan asked me how ‘Arthur’ was and I demonstrated my ability to pick out a target up the middle of the range and hit it by slicing the ball into a corner. Typical.

Next it was ‘Fivey’ and another round of the Yellow Basket Challenge! Alan went first and got close before waiting for me to try. The last time we played this game was the night where I couldn’t hit the ball never mind hit it straight so Alan was full of advice and encouragement. I didn’t need it as I sent a perfectly on target ball hurtling towards the basket. It didn’t go in but got close enough to show I meant business and that I had overcome my mid-iron demons.

After peppering the basket with balls I made the mistake of saying “As you might have noticed Al, I’ve changed my swing a bit to help me hit the ball more cleanly and more accurately.” With that I completely fucked my shot up leaving Alan to say something like “yeah, it is much better now!” It is always the way isn’t it? They call it the commentators curse on the telly…

After about 10 minutes it was obvious no-one was going to get it in so I had a couple of cracks with the hybrid. This time, after I’d loosened up, I was much improved. Off the small tee I was still slicing the ball but nowhere near as bad but it was off the floor I was impressed with. I’m not sure if the club is designed to do it but I was able to fire the ball off into the wind and rain at a shallow angle meaning it ran and ran – even in the uncut grass at the range. That could be useful.

I finished the night with a mini game of the Blue Basket Challenge. I mentioned in another post that my chipping was atrocious at Kirkby the other week so I’m keen to spend some time practicing. I realised late on in that round what I was doing wrong and corrected it so hopefully it is just a case of remembering the lesson and putting in the hours. Wish me luck.

26 - Swanky Clubs, Cheap Hybrids And The RSPCA...

So, now I’m back into the game (and I’ve just been paid), I thought I would indulge in my new favourite pastime of drooling over golf porn (not the bunker babes (click here to check out what I’m talking about, it isn’t pictures of Eva Braun either, wrong sort of bunker) or the likes of Natalie Gulbis or Michelle Wie – do a search), I mean clubs ‘n shit.

I started flicking through the reviewed section of Golf Whine Monthly to see what was shiny and new and the answer was a fucking lot. Ping have got some weird aluminous green shafted monsters called Rapture V2 that look the absolute dogs bollocks. Apparently they are even good for people with high handicaps…I wonder what they are like for useless clowns like me though? Hmmm, might investigate.

Talking of clubs that are good for people with high handicaps, TaylorMade have whipped up a set of clubs called Burner Plus which are apparently “ultra, ultra forgiving”. The magazine goes on to say “Game improvers should strongly consider these new irons”. Well that is me sold! The only problem is, they are TaylorMade and I would look and even bigger bellend than I already do if I step up to the tee with a set of swanky clubs only to start hacking the shit out of the fairway/rough/bunker with them.

Anyway, that kit is off my radar until I’m good enough to be classed as shit (as opposed to fucking useless – the rating I have at the minute. I need to whip up a table showing my progress from where I started all the way up to my ultimate aim of average). I need to improve before I can justify the expenditure of a set of clubs which is why I’m experimenting with the likes of my £10 56* wedge. This brings me on to my latest purchase, a £10 Howson Comp Plus Hybrid Wood.

I’ve had a couple of cracks on the Driving Range with other people’s Hybrids and they felt good but I didn’t have enough time to practice to see if they were worth blowing cash on. I saw that little Howson on offer for just a tenner and thought it was a bit of a no-brainer buying it. When it arrives I’m going to give it a full test at the range to see if it will improve my game. Reading magazines and websites it seems these clubs are a revelation so I’m hopeful they can help me.

My golf bag has more mongrels in it than the local RSPCA dog’s home. The bulk of my bats are Callaway Steel Head irons and Big Bertha woods but there is also the Knife 56* wedge, the Howson Hybrid and the recently acquired Hippo John ‘Arthur’ Daly driver. Add to this a rogue Dunlop 6 iron that I noticed the other day and it is fair to say it is literally a mixed TaylorMade bag (which has a Nike umbrella and a Maxfli towel attached to it incidentally). I’m such a brand whore.

Richie has lectured me in the past about buying random stuff. “Will it improve your game?” is the chant from him. “Fuck that, does it look good?” is my retort. He has given up now and just tells me to buy whatever I like as he knows he will inherit it once I chuck the towel in and give up. At this rate he is going to have some utter shite in his bag!!!