As you may have noticed there has been a lack of activity on this blog for a while, the reason being that the closest I have been to playing golf recently is thrashing my mates on Tiger Woods 09 for the Playstation 3 (brilliant game by the way). A combination of a knackered ankle and lousy weather has been enough to keep me away from the wretched game…but now I’m back.
With my tendons/ligaments starting to feel like their old self again (after my drunken spill in Liverpool city centre just before Christmas) I’m going to start playing once more in the hope of being a bit better in time for the summer. The hope is to be hacking my way around grubby municipals at least once a week as I strive to become the first Open winner to come from Kirkby.
My plan is to get down to the driving range a couple of nights a week to ease myself back into the game, contact a Pro to arrange some proper lessons, develop a repeatable swing, get my arse down to the golf centre at Fiddlers Ferry and buy the Mizuno MX-200’s I’ve been drooling over for the last six months, join a golf society and then spend one morning a week swearing my head off as I send shot after shot into the rough.
Oh aye, that sounds like a decent plan, I’ll be amazed if it pans out that way though… I’m almost certainly going to join the same golf society that my mates Richie and Terry are in (I’m not actually sure of it’s name, something to do with Woolton or summat) and I might be able to rope in a couple of other new members in the shape of Lucky and Alan. Who knows, my brother might even turn up!
As ever I will keep you all up to date via this little corner of the Internet (that is on the verge of a make over incidentally) and I will fill the gaps with rubbish I have found on other sites or in Golf Whine Monthly. Hello, hello, it’s good to be back…
Showing posts with label Playstation 3. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Playstation 3. Show all posts
Sunday, 15 February 2009
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
43 - Second Annual (Drunken) Tiger Woods Challenge...
After the overwhelming success of the first Annual Tiger Woods Drunken Challenge we decided to make it a regular thing. The premise is simple; four players take on one of the beautifully rendered courses on EA Sports Tiger Woods 09 on the Playstation 3. The kicker is that we all, as raging piss heads, drink our way around the course until the last few holes become a blur. It is a laugh!
Kev was the host with the most last time so I decided to step up and hold the second event at my gaff on Friday 7th October with a strict tee time of 19:30. There was no danger of anyone missing the start of the game as I also got mugged into being the fucking taxi service for the game too (as well as waitress, chef and chief pot and bottle washer).
There was a real incentive to do well in this round of the league as Paddy decided to donate a ‘fine’ trophy to be presented to the winner…but he forgot to bring it so that was that. The other incentive was to beat Kev ‘Man Citeh’ Long who had been sledging everyone with access to Facebook, explaining in detail how hard he was going to spank our arses (I hope he was just talking about the game).
The game started after we’d all selected our characters and the course. Again I went John Daley, Kev went Vijay Singh, Pat went Ian Poulter (resplendent in his tartan kecks) but Richie changed this time around and selected Jim Furyk. Was this tactics from Richie? Nah, apparently he just fancied a change.
Because Kev had been practicing SO much in an effort to eek out any advantage we decided to use the random course generator which would select 18 holes from all the courses available meaning that the first could be at St Andrews, the second at Sawgrass etc. This should make the game a bit more unpredictable and hopefully a bit more enjoyable. We also knocked all the settings up a little to make it a bit harder.
The game started and Kev roared to an early lead. The rest of us were playing catch up and I was doing worryingly bad. We discovered that Poulter can drive the ball as far as Daley and that Kev’s practice was paying off. Richie was doing surprisingly well seeing as he hasn’t actually got a copy of the game. We also learned that putting ‘Sweet Caroline’ on by Neil Diamond was a mistake as everyone stopped playing as started singing…
Kev was playing cautiously, learning from our mistakes but this would fail spectacularly on a tricky par 4 a few holes in. The hole in question was at Wolf Creek, a spectacular track plonked in the middle of a desert mountain range. The greens and fairways seem to have been lifted from another course and placed in the gaps between the peaks. It is a brilliant course.
The par 4 was relatively short, but not quite drivable because the green was behind a mountain peak! It was a classic dog-leg right but I knew it could be made if you hit the right shot. I went first and curled the ball around the peak and into a bunker protecting the green – job done in my book. Kev watched my shot and hit his ball up the fairway giving him a fairly long shot onto the green. Richie, bless him, fucked up two shots before ending up next to Kev. Then it was time for Paddy to shine!
The youngest player showed he had balls as big as Colin Montgomery’s gut as he blasted his tee shot high over the peak and onto the green. Well played Sir! Both me and Paddy pulled shots back, cutting Kev’s lead. Was this a turning point in the game? Erm, no. Kev continued to play well, keeping just ahead of me and a few shots ahead of Paddy who was playing erratically to say the least. A par on one hole followed by an eagle on the next – he was spectacularly inconsistent.
The game went on for an further hour and as it drew to a close Kev had a three shot lead with two holes to go. It was all over bar the shouting. I just kept plugging away knowing that there was always a chance he could screw up a tee shot or miss an easy putt. Amazingly Kev had a wobble and parred the 17th while I eagled it meaning I was just one shot behind with one hole to play.
The last hole was a par 5. I hit a decent tee shot and was on the green in two albeit about 60 feet from the hole. Unfortunately Kev was also on the green in two and was closer to the hole but still about 30 feet from the pin. I was first to putt and took my time lining it up. This extra time paid dividends as my ball plopped into the hole for an eagle! All Kev had to do was two putt for the win but the nerves got to him and he fucked up…twice! Victory was mine and Kev was absolutely gutted.
Paddy, ever the gentleman, took great pleasure in rubbing Kev’s face in it for about half an hour before we decided to have another round of the competition. I won’t lie; the second round is a blur as the ale made its merry way through my system. What I do remember was eagling the first and never looking back. Kev and Paddy were hilarious with there posing, sledging and celebrations after each good shot. By this time Richie was simply bladdered!
At the end I won by a few shots but the real drama was the battle for second. Paddy, like me earlier, pulled it out of the bag to snatch a draw with Kev on the last hole. This wasn’t satisfactory for either of them though so we had a play-off. Best out of three would sort the men from the boys. Actually, all it did was show just how close the two of them were. In the end we were adding all kinds of clauses to get a winner. ‘First in a bunker loses’, ‘first in the rough loses’ etc.
Eventually, after what seemed like about 10 holes Paddy made the break through and snatched second place from a now distraught Kev. Paddy was almost as unbearable in victory as Kev had been in the build up before hand. The two of them are different sides of the same coin!
Overall it was a good night, the ale flowed, the game was good and no-one died. Kev has vowed to take revenge in the next round of the league where we are playing for the prestigious Saxon Way medal. I can’t wait and I suspect I’m not alone…
Kev was the host with the most last time so I decided to step up and hold the second event at my gaff on Friday 7th October with a strict tee time of 19:30. There was no danger of anyone missing the start of the game as I also got mugged into being the fucking taxi service for the game too (as well as waitress, chef and chief pot and bottle washer).
There was a real incentive to do well in this round of the league as Paddy decided to donate a ‘fine’ trophy to be presented to the winner…but he forgot to bring it so that was that. The other incentive was to beat Kev ‘Man Citeh’ Long who had been sledging everyone with access to Facebook, explaining in detail how hard he was going to spank our arses (I hope he was just talking about the game).
The game started after we’d all selected our characters and the course. Again I went John Daley, Kev went Vijay Singh, Pat went Ian Poulter (resplendent in his tartan kecks) but Richie changed this time around and selected Jim Furyk. Was this tactics from Richie? Nah, apparently he just fancied a change.
Because Kev had been practicing SO much in an effort to eek out any advantage we decided to use the random course generator which would select 18 holes from all the courses available meaning that the first could be at St Andrews, the second at Sawgrass etc. This should make the game a bit more unpredictable and hopefully a bit more enjoyable. We also knocked all the settings up a little to make it a bit harder.
The game started and Kev roared to an early lead. The rest of us were playing catch up and I was doing worryingly bad. We discovered that Poulter can drive the ball as far as Daley and that Kev’s practice was paying off. Richie was doing surprisingly well seeing as he hasn’t actually got a copy of the game. We also learned that putting ‘Sweet Caroline’ on by Neil Diamond was a mistake as everyone stopped playing as started singing…
Kev was playing cautiously, learning from our mistakes but this would fail spectacularly on a tricky par 4 a few holes in. The hole in question was at Wolf Creek, a spectacular track plonked in the middle of a desert mountain range. The greens and fairways seem to have been lifted from another course and placed in the gaps between the peaks. It is a brilliant course.
The par 4 was relatively short, but not quite drivable because the green was behind a mountain peak! It was a classic dog-leg right but I knew it could be made if you hit the right shot. I went first and curled the ball around the peak and into a bunker protecting the green – job done in my book. Kev watched my shot and hit his ball up the fairway giving him a fairly long shot onto the green. Richie, bless him, fucked up two shots before ending up next to Kev. Then it was time for Paddy to shine!
The youngest player showed he had balls as big as Colin Montgomery’s gut as he blasted his tee shot high over the peak and onto the green. Well played Sir! Both me and Paddy pulled shots back, cutting Kev’s lead. Was this a turning point in the game? Erm, no. Kev continued to play well, keeping just ahead of me and a few shots ahead of Paddy who was playing erratically to say the least. A par on one hole followed by an eagle on the next – he was spectacularly inconsistent.
The game went on for an further hour and as it drew to a close Kev had a three shot lead with two holes to go. It was all over bar the shouting. I just kept plugging away knowing that there was always a chance he could screw up a tee shot or miss an easy putt. Amazingly Kev had a wobble and parred the 17th while I eagled it meaning I was just one shot behind with one hole to play.
The last hole was a par 5. I hit a decent tee shot and was on the green in two albeit about 60 feet from the hole. Unfortunately Kev was also on the green in two and was closer to the hole but still about 30 feet from the pin. I was first to putt and took my time lining it up. This extra time paid dividends as my ball plopped into the hole for an eagle! All Kev had to do was two putt for the win but the nerves got to him and he fucked up…twice! Victory was mine and Kev was absolutely gutted.
Paddy, ever the gentleman, took great pleasure in rubbing Kev’s face in it for about half an hour before we decided to have another round of the competition. I won’t lie; the second round is a blur as the ale made its merry way through my system. What I do remember was eagling the first and never looking back. Kev and Paddy were hilarious with there posing, sledging and celebrations after each good shot. By this time Richie was simply bladdered!
At the end I won by a few shots but the real drama was the battle for second. Paddy, like me earlier, pulled it out of the bag to snatch a draw with Kev on the last hole. This wasn’t satisfactory for either of them though so we had a play-off. Best out of three would sort the men from the boys. Actually, all it did was show just how close the two of them were. In the end we were adding all kinds of clauses to get a winner. ‘First in a bunker loses’, ‘first in the rough loses’ etc.
Eventually, after what seemed like about 10 holes Paddy made the break through and snatched second place from a now distraught Kev. Paddy was almost as unbearable in victory as Kev had been in the build up before hand. The two of them are different sides of the same coin!
Overall it was a good night, the ale flowed, the game was good and no-one died. Kev has vowed to take revenge in the next round of the league where we are playing for the prestigious Saxon Way medal. I can’t wait and I suspect I’m not alone…
Monday, 20 October 2008
38 - First Annual (Drunken) Tiger Woods Challenge...
I have always enjoyed the social side of golf. I have, in the past, been a guest at the Woolton Golf Society Presentation Night and enjoyed myself enormously…mainly because when it comes to drinking I am not bad, not bad at all. So when the first annual (drunken) Tiger Woods Challenge night was proposed I was in like Flynn!!!
We decided to pile around to Kev’s (Alan’s lad and my best mate) to have a four way game of Tiger Woods 09 on the Playstation 3. If you haven’t played TW09 you are missing out as it is simply brilliant. On the PS 3 it looks amazing and is easy enough to pick up and play but just difficult enough to keep you on your toes.
Along with me and Kev were Richie and an old friend called Paddy. Paddy is a good few years younger than us and has played TW in its earlier guises so we all thought he was the dark horse, the one to beat. Also there was Gaz who, if you remember from a previous post, is going to provide security for Robs Irregular Golf Society. It is good to have some security when playing a game as violent and aggressive as golf.
With the competitors ready, the characters selected (I was playing as John ‘ice-cream’ Daly, Kev was Vijay ‘Dev’ Singh, Richie was Colin ‘Doubtfire’ Montgomery and Paddy was Ian ‘Le Tissier’ Poulter) the game loaded and with can’s in hand we started. Then we stopped again to change the settings as Kev was using the metric system and no cunt could work out how far 156 meters actually was or how much compensation was needed when there was a 3 kilometre cross wind. Setting changed, we started!
Almost predictably Paddy pulled out an early lead. Four birdies in five holes had him comfortably in the lead with ‘slow and steady’ Richie in second and me and Kev miles behind after swapping double-bogeys and generally being shite. Then the arse fell hilariously out of Paddy’s round as he mortared two of his tee shots into the ocean and began a slippery slope to the bottom. Richie “you have to play all 18 holes” was now in the lead with me and Kev clawing shots back.
As the drink flowed the game got more and more raggered with Richie dropping shots with his cautious play, Paddy screaming at Kev for telling him the wrong buttons to press and me trying to outdrive everyone at the expense of staying on the course at times. The inevitable sledging began with Paddy and Kev almost coming to blows at one point over a scream of “PANCAKE!” (no, I don’t know what it means either).
As the game went on, Paddy got shitter and shitter hitting some of the worst shots ever seen on a video game. This was partly down to his dubious ability and partly down to Kev who was winding him up something rotten. Richie was still playing safe, consistent golf but it wasn’t enough as me and Kev blasted past his score.
I was impressed with Kev, he was much better than I was expecting as he claimed he had only played the game a couple of times before. But as Harold Shipman once said, ‘the truth will out’. After speaking to lovely Sharron, his preggers fiancée, it turns out that he had been practicing since 7:30 that morning in order to get an edge. Tut tut tut…he was almost bringing the game into disrepute!
After some good golf (not from Paddy to be honest) the last two holes were looming and Kev tried some Sir Alex Ferguson-esque mind games. Unfortunately for him I’m not a spineless bitch like Kevin Keegan and cruised to a two shot win. I was magnanimous in victory and didn’t gloat like a cunt, no Sir, that isn’t my style!!!
As it was relatively early (11pm – we had been playing for 3 hours!) we decided to have a doubles game. It had a name which I don’t remember but it was basically everyone tees off and then the pairs select the best ball for the second shot then the shots are taken alternately. Geditt? It was a struggle for us too after a few cans.
Me and Richie were wild and Kev and Paddy has kissed and made up. They went into a two shot lead that me and Richie clawed back despite the arguing and screaming. “They are fighting amongst themselves” came the gleeful cries from the soon to be losers. The reason we were so passionate was because we wanted the victory more than them two.
After not being ahead for 8 of the 9 holes, me and Richie snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. As they say, the cream cannot help but to rise up to the top and that is what we did as we rose like salmon to strike a blow for podgy games players all over the world. Experience triumphed over youth and all Kev’s snide practicing was in vain!!!
We decided to pile around to Kev’s (Alan’s lad and my best mate) to have a four way game of Tiger Woods 09 on the Playstation 3. If you haven’t played TW09 you are missing out as it is simply brilliant. On the PS 3 it looks amazing and is easy enough to pick up and play but just difficult enough to keep you on your toes.
Along with me and Kev were Richie and an old friend called Paddy. Paddy is a good few years younger than us and has played TW in its earlier guises so we all thought he was the dark horse, the one to beat. Also there was Gaz who, if you remember from a previous post, is going to provide security for Robs Irregular Golf Society. It is good to have some security when playing a game as violent and aggressive as golf.
With the competitors ready, the characters selected (I was playing as John ‘ice-cream’ Daly, Kev was Vijay ‘Dev’ Singh, Richie was Colin ‘Doubtfire’ Montgomery and Paddy was Ian ‘Le Tissier’ Poulter) the game loaded and with can’s in hand we started. Then we stopped again to change the settings as Kev was using the metric system and no cunt could work out how far 156 meters actually was or how much compensation was needed when there was a 3 kilometre cross wind. Setting changed, we started!
Almost predictably Paddy pulled out an early lead. Four birdies in five holes had him comfortably in the lead with ‘slow and steady’ Richie in second and me and Kev miles behind after swapping double-bogeys and generally being shite. Then the arse fell hilariously out of Paddy’s round as he mortared two of his tee shots into the ocean and began a slippery slope to the bottom. Richie “you have to play all 18 holes” was now in the lead with me and Kev clawing shots back.
As the drink flowed the game got more and more raggered with Richie dropping shots with his cautious play, Paddy screaming at Kev for telling him the wrong buttons to press and me trying to outdrive everyone at the expense of staying on the course at times. The inevitable sledging began with Paddy and Kev almost coming to blows at one point over a scream of “PANCAKE!” (no, I don’t know what it means either).
As the game went on, Paddy got shitter and shitter hitting some of the worst shots ever seen on a video game. This was partly down to his dubious ability and partly down to Kev who was winding him up something rotten. Richie was still playing safe, consistent golf but it wasn’t enough as me and Kev blasted past his score.
I was impressed with Kev, he was much better than I was expecting as he claimed he had only played the game a couple of times before. But as Harold Shipman once said, ‘the truth will out’. After speaking to lovely Sharron, his preggers fiancée, it turns out that he had been practicing since 7:30 that morning in order to get an edge. Tut tut tut…he was almost bringing the game into disrepute!
After some good golf (not from Paddy to be honest) the last two holes were looming and Kev tried some Sir Alex Ferguson-esque mind games. Unfortunately for him I’m not a spineless bitch like Kevin Keegan and cruised to a two shot win. I was magnanimous in victory and didn’t gloat like a cunt, no Sir, that isn’t my style!!!
As it was relatively early (11pm – we had been playing for 3 hours!) we decided to have a doubles game. It had a name which I don’t remember but it was basically everyone tees off and then the pairs select the best ball for the second shot then the shots are taken alternately. Geditt? It was a struggle for us too after a few cans.
Me and Richie were wild and Kev and Paddy has kissed and made up. They went into a two shot lead that me and Richie clawed back despite the arguing and screaming. “They are fighting amongst themselves” came the gleeful cries from the soon to be losers. The reason we were so passionate was because we wanted the victory more than them two.
After not being ahead for 8 of the 9 holes, me and Richie snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. As they say, the cream cannot help but to rise up to the top and that is what we did as we rose like salmon to strike a blow for podgy games players all over the world. Experience triumphed over youth and all Kev’s snide practicing was in vain!!!
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