176 - Big Winners...

So the Ryder Cup was eventually won by Europe. Well done Monty and the boys, you did the continent proud (well most of you – yeah I’m looking at you Molinari brothers – grrr). Not trying to sound too cheesy here but the big winner in my opinion was the game of golf itself.

When Celtic Manor was chosen as the venue for the 2010 Ryder Cup a lot of eyebrows were raised. Was Europe playing into the hands of the USA by selecting a course with a distinctly American feel to it? Surely it would have been more beneficial to select a gnarled Links course that the American’s would struggle with?

I hindsight Celtic Manor was a fantastic choice as it gave both teams the opportunity to win making it a contest worth watching…once the rain had stopped, obviously. It was a brilliant idea to hold a major sporting event in Britain in October, brilliant idea. The torrential rain on Friday meant that the competition finished on Monday – the first time this has happened in its history.

Some of the golf that was played was stunning, Luke Donald, Ian Poulter, Rickie Fowler and of course Tiger Woods played brilliant shots at various times throughout the weekend.

Woods produced a vintage round on Monday to remind us all why he has been the world number one for so long.

After all the games, all the drives, approach shots and putts the competition came down to the final game on the final day (but not quite the final hole). Graham McDowell (above) held his nerve, Hunter Mahan fluffed his lines and the trophy returned to Europe with a hole to spare.

Queue scenes of elation in South Wales echoed around Europe by golf fans and new converts alike. Twitter was throbbing with messages starting “I don’t usually like golf but…” as none golfers got caught up in the emotion and excitement of the spectacle taking place at Celtic Manor.

Colin Montgomerie was humble and reserved as the celebrations started; Corey Pavin looked on the verge of tears. The passion and excitement of the final day did so much good for the game, especially here in Europe, we love winners in Europe!!!

150 - Logo-A-Go Go...

Watching the Scottish Open I noticed how pro golfers are slowly but surely turning into Formula 1 cars. No, I don’t mean they are at the cutting edge of aerodynamics – a look at Darren Clarke and John Daley will confirm that – I’m talking about the way they are covered in sponsorship logos.

I read a while back that the fantastically fashion conscious Ian Poulter was told he could not participate in a competition wearing his Arsenal shirt because the O2 logo on the front of the football shirt was too big yet it seems perfectly acceptable to wear a shirt shot gunned with adverts.

The camera focused on Ross Fisher at Loch Lomond and I was taken by just how many brands he was wearing. He had Al Naboodah and Genworth Financial on the front of his shirt, Under Armour on the sleeves and Titleist, Pro V1 and the Footjoy FJ logo on his cap.

Normally I’d be appalled at this blatant commercialism but I think I can have a little fun with it. I might get some unofficial sponsorship deals in place before the end of the summer.

Who needs a behemoth of construction and investment like Al Naboodah when you can get local takeaway joint Jackymundos (where quality comes first) (left)?

Who needs a banking giant like Genworth Financial when you can have Liverpool’s very own Davy Liver Cabs (708-7080, if you need a cab just let us know, call Davy Liver cabs)?

I can almost see the sneers turning to anger when the Pringle brigade sees my Adidas Climacool shirt resplendent with Bimbo The Magic Clown (an entertainer with a difference) and a Dial A Drink logo (free nibbles with every order over £25).

I did some searching on the Internet and getting a logo on a branded shirt (Adidas, Nike or Glenmuir) will cost less than £5 which will be a bargain if it gets up the noses of the people who take the game much too seriously. I can also get fleeces, waterproofs, hats and umbrellas to completely look the part!

75 - We Are The Goon Squad...

There were many sniggers and snide remarks from the pundits covering the Open at Turnberry this year when John Daly stepped onto the first tee in an outfit so loud that they probably burnt the retinas of any spectator who was unfortunate enough to glance at his legs (below). Anyone who saw the big man strutting down the fairways in his Loudmouth Golf clothes won’t forget it in a hurry.

Although his attire was a little extreme I salute Daly for not taking the dress code so seriously, I salute anyone who sticks it to the man. That is not to say I think anything can be worn on the golf course, far from it, I just think that if golf is to move away from the perception that it’s elitist and snobby there needs to be a change in attitudes from the old guard.

Ok, I get that jeans are a no no on the course but why for example, if wearing shorts, must players also wear knee length socks (a rule I saw recently at a private course)? Surely players are wearing shorts to keep cool – something that is negated with the addition of 2 foot of gleaming white terry-towlling sports socks!

I’ll admit that seeing people on municipal’s in an England shirt, tracksuit bottoms and a pair of Reebok Classics winds me up but is it the worse thing in the golfing world? (What does make me laugh about these ‘rule breakers’ is that they can’t find the cash for a pair of proper golf shoes but they will have a bag full of Ping clubs and will be firing Titleist Pro V1’s up the fairway. Hmmm…)

I agree with DJ Chris Evans who said he likes playing golf he just doesn’t like looking like a golfer. I don’t like the Lyle & Scott v-neck pullover brigade who march up and down the fairways checking everyone else out like a cranky headmaster, tutting at players wearing garish coloured polo shirts, fashionable tailored pants and designer shoes with matching bling belts. It is as if they expect players to dress like extras from 70’s sitcom Terry & June.

Big manufacturers like Nike and Adidas have made great strides in producing more fashionable golf clothes while the likes of Stromberg, Oscar Jacobson and J Lindeberg make stuff that could be worn in the coolest of bars as well as at the local track. So why should there be frowns from the Ronnie Corbett-a-likes if some young buck turns up in a pair of Ian Poulter’s Union Jack pants?

If the dress code was relaxed slightly and the attitude towards non-traditional clothes changed for the better I’m convinced more young people would be interested in joining private clubs and societies. Young men love posing and some of the premium clothing available lets them do just that as they strut up the fairway like a golfing peacocks.

To stay alive every sport needs to evolve but golf won’t move forward if the blazer and tie types put barriers in front of potential new players because of the way they dress. I think it is time for the old to embrace the new and update their attitudes. After all, golf is a great game that should be enjoyed by everyone even if they decide to turn up looking like John Daly.

21 - [RANT] The Fucking Ryder Cup...

I knew having an interest in the Ryder Cup would mean that Europe would lose, it was a cert. I have watched the competition over the last few years with a bit of interest but nothing too serious so this year, now that it actually matters to me, I could have bet a kidney on the fact that Team Gluttony & Arrogance would triumph over the brave, brave Europeans.

As predicted, it was a whoop and holla-a-thon from the unwashed masses that did their best to ruin my enjoyment of the tournament. I went on (at length) about that lot in another post but they exceeded even my expectations. “In the hole!”, “Bo USA!”, “Bomb Eye-ran” and other shite for three fucking days…utter, utter bellends. But the players were no better.

What is the deal with that bloaty headed fucker, Lil Kim? I saw him have a ‘mare, get saved by a peach of a shot from Phil Mickelson (the exception to the rule when it comes to arrogant Americans from what I’ve seen of him) then he sank an easy 4 foot putt and danced across the green like he had just hit a hole in one…on a par 5…with his putter. I was so pissed off with him I turned over.

Then there was that fat tit who was riding a pretend horse down the fairway. My toes nearly curled off at the sight of an adult prancing around like a backward kid at a birthday party. All he was missing was a tiny pointy hat and cake around his mouth. Yeah, the Ryder Cup was in Kentucky where they have a famous horse race, we get it.

The difference between that shower and us is that if the Ryder Cup is held in Amsterdam in two years time for example we won’t see the likes of Ian Poulter running around butt naked, firing ping pong balls out of his arse with a big, fat spliff in his grid despite the Dutch capital being famous for hookers and drugs.

So the weekend was ruined by the American players and fans and now my week is on the ropes by what can only be described as cunts. Me and Alan went to the driving range tonight and the place was heaving. The Ryder Cup has gotten people into golf which is surely a good thing? Well no it isn’t and I’ll tell you why.

Out of the 40 or so bays at Aintree, 35 of them were filled with kids or dickheads arsing around. Now, I’m no pro but I am trying to have a go which is why it messed with my head having to wait for a free bay and then put up with all manner of tosser who tuned into Sky Sports on Saturday and now think it is hilarious to spend two hours trying to hit 100 balls.

We had three bays behind us filled with what looked like the kids from Hansen (all shoulder length blond hair and faces you wanted smash in with a house brick) whose primary aim, as far as I could see, was to scream at the top of their squeaky voices every time they managed to hit a ball. Bliss.

The two bays in front of us were being used by a group of Spaniards who tried to smack the coating off of the ball in-between chain smoking about 600 ciggies each. Actually, that is unfair, they did stop smoking to swig their lager and spout incomprehensible nonsense at each other.

We were surrounded by people you would cross the road to avoid, all brought together by the power of the Ryder Cup. They had wiped the dust off their 10 year old bats, bombed to their nearest driving range and were all merrily trying to push me over the edge by screaming their head off, smoking and drinking. Oh yeah, this lot were good for golf.

The only plus point is that they were even shitter than me so they won’t bother coming back once the novelty has worn off. Talking of not coming back, if I don’t improve soon I swear to God I’m gonna put my clubs on eBay, throw my golf clobber in the bin and jack the fucking lot in. If this site suddenly disappears you know things haven’t gone well…