105 - Quote/Unquote...

Golf is a good walk spoiled. - Mark Twain

Bad Sausage and five bogeys will give you a stomach ache every time. - Miller Barber

My goal this year is basically to find the fairways. - Lauri Peterson

When you start driving your ball down the middle, you meet a different class of people. - Phil Harris

The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law. - H. G. Wells

The only way to enjoy golf is to be a masochist. Go out and beat yourself to death. - Howard Keel

For most amateurs the best wood in the bag is the pencil. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

Pebble Beach and Cypress Point make you want to play golf, they're such interesting and enjoyable layouts. Spyglass Hill, now that's different; that makes you want to go fishing. - Jack Nicklaus

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. - Jim Bishop

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. - George Brett

99 - Quote/Unquote...

In 1981, Tom Sieckmann won the Philippine Open, the Thailand Open and the Singapore Open, leaving him second only to the US Marines for victories in the Pacific. - Gary Nuhm

I'd like to see the fairways more narrow. Then everybody would have to play from the rough, not just me. - Seve Ballesteros

The greens (at Winged Foot Golf Club, New York) are harder than a whore's heart. - Sam Snead

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie. - George Deukmejian

Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. - Jack Nicklaus

Golf. You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks. - Anonymous

Why am I using a new putter? Because the old one didn't float too well. - Craig Stadler

They say I'm famous for my chip shots. Sure, when I hit 'em right, they land just so, like a butterfly with sore feet. - Lee Trevino

I was swinging like a toilet door on a prawn trawler. - David Feherty

By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport. - Julian Boros

82 - Quote/Unquote...

Tee the ball high. Because years of experience have shown me that air offers less resistance than dirt. - Jack Nicklaus

I plan to win so much money this year, my caddie's gonna finish in the Top 20 money winners. - Lee Trevino

The only thing that scares me (about the Ryder Cup) is the Americans' dress sense. - Mark James

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't waste energy going back to pick it up. - Tommy Bolt

The safest place for spectators in celebrity tournaments is probably on the fairway. - Joe Garagiola

Golfers don't fist fight. They cuss a bit. But they wouldn't punch anything or anybody. They might hurt their hands and have to change their grip. - Dan Jenkins

Scotland is a peculiar land that is the birthplace of golf and sport salmon fishing, a fact which may explain why it is also the birthplace of whisky. - Henry Beard

Gay Brewer swings the club in a figure of eight. If you didn't know better, you'd swear he was trying to kill snakes. - Dave Hill

'Play It As It Lies' is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other one is 'Wear It If It Clashes'. - Henry Beard

We've had it easy. When it blows here (St Andrews), even the seagulls walk. - Nick Faldo