69 - Quote/Unquote...

"One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my God, what have I just said." - US Open TV Commentator

"You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work." - Lee Trevino

For most amateurs the best wood in the bag is the pencil. - Chi Chi Rodriguez

"The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music." - "Silk Stockings" TV Show

Golf combines two favourite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with sticks. - P. J. O'Rourke

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf will. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you can get so sore at yourself that you forget to hate you enemies. - Will Rogers, humorist (1879-1935)

Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with the big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her. - Val Doonican

The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it. - Bob Allen

Watching a golf tournament is different from attending other sports arenas. For one thing, the drunks are spread out in a larger area. - Don Wade

Golf is best understood as a series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. - Anon